Getting in some hammock practice

From KB we caught a share taxi to Kuala Besut to catch the "ferry" to the islands. The ferry actually was a clapped-out semi-wreck of a fishing boat with cheap plastic garden chairs bolted to the deck. Inevitably, it left over an hour late and took three hours to reach the islands, so that we arrived on Long Beach on the small island in mid-afternoon. Of course all the locals knew that all the bungalows were full, but that didn't stop them charging us for the "taxi ride" in a speedboat to take us the very short distance to the beach from the point in mid-water where the boat stopped. There were no beds to be found for love nor money on the small island, and we encountered several people who had spent several nights sleeping on the beach, mosquitoes and all. In the end, we hopped on a boat across the water to the other island ("Big Island") where we found a bed in the first place we tried, and for 10 ringgits a night less than on the small island. We even had our own little private mini-beach just down from our bungalows, which were pretty basic but pleasant enough. A Canadian-American couple in the hut next door were kind enough to lend us their snorkelling gear, and we spent a few hours snorkelling on the reef just offshore - I had a close encounter with a large school (500+) of fairly big fish on a feeding frenzy, and saw up close several wildly coloured giant clams and some beautiful but highly territorial clown fish, which we'd seen in Sydney Aquarium; it was another matter altogether to see them in the wild. Some people even reported seeing sharks (of the non-violent variety, thankfully). Other than that we ate the worst and most expensive food we'd eaten in Malaysia and swam fairly regularly, and played a lot of cards. The islands though were truly beautiful, and it was worth the hassle and expense, although it would have been nice to stay longer if we could have afforded it.

From Perhentian, we returned to Kota Bharu for one night before catching a bus across the Cameron Highlands to Georgetown on Penang Island. This was one of the worst bus trips we've done, as the driver seemed hell-bent on doing everything in his power short of deliberately driving off the edge of the precipice to induce cardiac arrest in his passengers - accelerating into bends, overtaking on blind curves, driving so fast round steep corners that the bus leaned at a seemingly impossible angle. We were highly relieved when we finally emerged from the mountains onto straighter roads, and arrived in Georgetown unscathed.

Georgetown itself was an interesting place, with more colonial architecture than we'd seen anywhere else in Malaysia; indeed I can hardly recall seeing more than half-a-dozen buildings more than say fifty years old anywhere else in the country. In Georgetown, by contrast, they're everywhere. We wandered through Chinatown, which was strangely familiar, due undoubtedly in large part to the slightly odd combination of Scottish and Malay street names: Lebuh Leith, Farquhar, and so on. Didn't find any Carstairs though (although there was a Carstairs died in Melacca many years ago).

From Georgetown, we bought tickets to take us direct to Ko Pha-Ngan, allegedly the main backpackers' island in Thailand, and home to the legendary full moon parties, which we were determined to studiously avoid. We paid 51 ringgits each for all-inclusive tickets, and thought that expensive until we discovered that others had paid 70 or even 100 ringgits for exactly the same trip. At the border, our driver took our passports and then demanded 2 ringgits each for crossing the border - as an indication of how legitimate this was, we gave him all our remaining ringgits (i.e. one) for the two of us, which he accepted with a little bad grace. After several hours, we arrived in Hat Yai, where we had our first Thai encounter, not a promising one. We arrived and were deposited outside a dodgy-looking restaurant with an unpleasant looking manager. I politely asked him where we could find a cash machine, as there had been no money changers at the border. He rudely brushed me off, and glaring told me in no uncertain terms to wait. A few minutes later I persisted, asking him to tell me where the nearest ATM was. To my astonishment (and that of Rupert, one of our fellow travellers, who was also in search of Thai Baht), he curtly replied that "your ticket doesn't include a bank - you want a bank, 50 Baht each" ($1 = 40 Baht). My jaw dropped in astonishment at the sheer nerve of the man, and stormed off on my own in search of money. I asked in the first shop we came to, and the kindly old man there was more than happy to explain to me with a smile how to get to the nearest bank, all of 100 metres away - thankfully at least some Thais are friendly. On our return from the bank, we were piled back into the minibus and driven off. We picked up a couple of other passengers before returning to our original stopping point. There Mr Grumpy stalked up to us, glowered, and angrily demanded 60 Baht each for ferry tickets. As we had all paid for our tickets already, we steadfastly refused; poor Rupert, who had ill-advisedly but justifiably suggested that he was trying to rip us off was subject to a torrent of abuse, before the angry man stormed off, returning a few minutes later to throw bad-temperedly our tickets for the ferry at us before once more storming off. Our driver, who throughout had been smiling, seemed bemused by his boss' behaviour, then decided to inform us in Thai (luckily, one of the passengers spoke good Thai, having lived in Thailand for seven years) that he had never actually drive to Surat Thani (from where the ferry was due to leave) and that he wasn't sure of the route. It seemed that things were going from bad to worse. However, we made it to Surat Thani without too many problems and with only a few wrong turns, and were dropped off at a travel agency. They told us to leave our luggage and come back at eight o'clock for a lift to the ferry terminal. We wandered off in search of food and then came back. We were then all unceremoniously piled into the back of a pick-up truck (or "ute" in Strine) and then driven off to catch the night ferry.

Bridge on the River Kwai

The night ferry was an experience - the upper deck consisted of a narrow walkway with rows of double mattresses on either side lying on the floor. It made me feel like a refugee, but was actually surprisingly comfortable, certainly more so than a seat would have been, and we even managed to get some sleep. We arrived on Ko Samui, and the boat stayed there. We had to buy our own tickets to Ko Pha-Ngan, as the boat company refused to accept our tickets. As we had a few hours to kill until the boat left, we went in search of breakfast, which we found without any difficulty, although one taxi driver wanted to drive us to the departure point for the ferry at 30 Baht each; luckily we made inquiries and discovered that the ferry left from a pier all of 50 metres away - by this stage, it seemed to me as if everyone in Thailand was trying to rip us off, a feeling that persisted for some time. Eventually we caught the boat, which took an hour to get us to Ko Pha-Ngan. None too reassuringly, the harbours at both Ko Samui and Ko Pha-Ngan sported several wrecked boats jutting out of the water, and the pier at Ko Pha-Ngan had evidently recently collapsed, judging by the mess of wood, steel and concrete which greeted us. From Thong Sala, where we finally got off the boat, we caught a songthaew (a small truck with two benches down the side for passengers to the village of An Chalok Lam, from where we caught yet another boat to Hat Khuat ("Bottle Beach"), our final destination. After an epic journey of 28 hours involving a minibus, another minibus, a pick-up truck, a ferry, another ferry, a songthaew and a motorised canoe, we had finally arrived. The beach was quiet and very attractive, and the food as we soon discovered was excellent, although by Thai standards overpriced - apparently most of the bungalow operators make the bulk of their money from the restaurants attached to their operations - seemingly if you don't eat in their restaurants, they'll throw you out after a couple of days.

We did nothing on Bottle Beach, other than swim, eat and play cards. On our first day we met a guy who had been there for three weeks, and hadn't even made it to the end of the beach, all of perhaps 200 metres away; after a couple of days, I understood. It was supremely relaxing, and eventually worth the hassle. Luckily we had booked our trains to Bangkok before we left Surat Thani, having heard that tickets can be very hard to come by.

Veronika and dragon in Chiang Mai

Our return trip to Surat Thani was scarcely less difficult - when we arrived at Thong Sala, we bought our tickets for the 12 o'clock ferry, which eventually left around 2:30, and the pier was a heaving chaotic mass of backpackers and rucksacks, without an official in sight, and certainly no sign of anything as useful as a boat. Eventually, though, the boat did arrive, and we made it unharmed to Surat Thani, only to discover that the boat to Surat Thani doesn't actually go to Surat Thani, but to a pier several miles away. We had to wait around for a bus, which at least we didn't have to pay for. On our arrival in the town, we dropped in at the agency that had issued us with our tickets and managed, much to my surprise, to get a refund for the tickets we'd bought ourselves. We then went to pick up our train tickets, and were early enough to catch a local bus to the train station, rather than a taxi which would have cost five times as much. Unfortunately, the bus driver decided to test our already strained nerves by driving as slowly as he possibly could - literally, we could have walked quicker. However, we made it on time to the train station and caught the night train to Bangkok.

On our arrival in Bangkok the next morning, having slept reasonably well, we opted to take a tuk tuk (basically a bicycle rickshaw with a two-stroke engine attached) to our hotel rather than a taxi, as they were allegedly cheaper. However, the tuk tuk driver overcharged us (as we subsequently learned) and dropped us off at the wrong place. We decided to check out the hostel where he dropped us off, and although the room had obviously not seen a drop of paint in more years than I care to consider, it was cheap, convenient and friendly (by Thai standards at least, so not very friendly), and had a decent cheap restaurant as well, which showed films twice a night.

Bangkok was not high on our list of places to see, but we had to go there to sort out refunds for our flights to Calcutta, having decided not to visit India on this trip for a number of reasons, chief among them being a lack of money, and also to pick up our tickets to Hong Kong. Unfortunately our timing was bad - we arrived on the Sunday morning, Monday was a holiday to mark the first sermon preached by the Buddha, and the Thai Air office was closed on the Tuesday. Eventually we managed to get to the office on Wednesday, and they initially tried to tell us that we would have to claim our refund in person in Australia. When I pointed out the absurdity of this, given that we were not going back to Australia, the woman then told us to contact the Thai Air office in the country where we lived. To this I pointed out that there was no Thai Air office in Slovenia, and that in any event we needed the money before we got home in order to be able to afford to get home. Eventually, and rather reluctantly, she agreed to contact the travel agent in Australia and seek authorisation for a refund, a process which could take some considerable but unspecified time. At the time of writing, we're still waiting to hear.

We stayed in Bangkok for four nights, and did nothing except play cards, eat, hassle Thai Air and buy tickets to Hong Kong for the absurdly cheap price of $90 - for once, even cheaper than suggested in Lonely Planet, although the travel agent did charge us a credit card surcharge, a flagrant violation of Thai law, but she insisted despite our protestations; as the amount involved was not excessive, we let the matter drop.

From Bangkok, we caught a minibus to Kanchanaburi. Kanchanaburi is a small, unassuming town, famous primarily for being the site of the famous Bridge on the River Kwai, made famous by the Pierre Boulle book of that name and even more so by the David Lean/Alec Guinness/Jack Hawkins film. We walked to the bridge the afternoon we arrived in the town. When we got there, the bridge was swarming with hordes of Japanese tour groups brandishing multiple cameras and being as obnoxious as only Japanese tourists can be, and behaving in a way in which no doubt they would never dream of doing at home. 16,000 allied prisoners of war, and upwards of 100,000 local slave labourers died at the hands of the Japanese soldiers in the construction of the infamous Death Railway, of which the bridge on the River Kwai forms part, and yet the mass of Japanese showed a lamentable lack of respect for their memory. This was something I'd noticed also in Canberra at the Australian War Memorial there, when many Japanese tourists were jumping around and loudly attempting to shatter the solemnity of the site, clambering over statues to pose on top of the eternal flame for the inevitable photo opportunity. We were not the only ones to be more than a little unhappy about the attitude of these people, and it left us wondering what they think happened here, and why they came.

Walking back from the bridge, we came across a bar which shows the film every night, so, deciding that it was too good an opportunity to pass up, we drank a couple of beers and enjoyed Alec Guinness at his finest.

Erawan national park, Thailand

The next day was given over to relaxation, but the day after we went to our first place in Thailand that I felt was truly special - Erawan National Park. The National Forestry Department of Thailand recently increased the price of admission to all national parks in Thailand for foreigners to 200 Baht ($5), compared to a mere 20 Baht for Thais. Naturally a lot of people are unhappy with this decision, not least the Tourist Authority of Thailand, who are all too aware of the potential damage to Thailand's already overblown reputation which could be caused by such a discriminatory policy, especially given that admission to national parks elsewhere in richer countries is often not nearly as expensive. Still, in this case it was worth the money, as the park's main attractions, seven tiers of waterfalls, were absolutely stunning - if the combined talents of all the scenery people at Disney got together, they couldn't create a waterfall as magical as some of those at Erawan - truly wondrous. We visited all seven of the waterfalls with an Irishman called Des from Cork, who we met in Kanchanaburi, and who we will likely as not also meet in Chiang Mai. The water was very clean, but slightly cloudy due to the very high mineral content, which, consisting mainly (I presume) of calcium, results in rapid calcification of anything in the path of the water. Thus one tree, which grew seemingly precariously out of the face of one of the falls, was kept firmly in place by the fact that its living roots had been turned to stone by the constant water flows around it. The other point of note in the park were the brook carp in the pools, which had a tendency to nibble at anything which didn't move, such as for example my legs. Although apparently completely harmless, this was nonetheless somewhat off-putting. Still though, I went swimming in three of the pools.

We returned to Kanchanaburi, and spent a very pleasant evening talking to other fellow travellers before moving on to Bangkok the next day. We spent one night in Bangkok before catching the train up to Chiang Mai. According to the Lonely Planet, Chiang Mai is a charming old town; according to our experience, it's basically a soulless, charmless place, with the only saving grace being the plentiful supply of accommodation. We managed to sort out our visas for China without any difficulties (and at half the price they were quoting in Australia). I had wanted to do a cookery course, but they were overpriced, so the only thing we did (apart from a little work I did) was visit a few of the temples, which were interesting enough, but not as fascinating to our minds as those in Bali, continuing the theme of our great disillusionment with Thailand as a whole. Still we got a decent room to stay in, the only drawback being the school directly behind our room, which lead to us being woken up early each morning by the raucous noise of Thai schoolkids. Having got our Chinese visas, we were keen to leave.

From Chiang Mai, we caught a very uncomfortable bus to Sukhothai, ancient capital of a former kingdom in northern Thailand, and home to one of Thailand's UNESCO world heritage sites. The town of Sukhothai is as boringly nondescript as any number of other Thai towns, which seem to be built on an identikit principal, and which all look so alike as to be virtually indistinguishable. We arrived exhausted after a partiularly bumpy bus journey, and having found a place to stay, rested up. The next day, which was extremely hot, we caught a truck to the historical park, where we bought all-inclusive tickets, once again paying several times more than the locals for the privilege. We rented bikes as the park is fairly extensive, and wandered around exploring old temples in varying states of decay. The highlights for me were the Wat Mahathat (the first temple we visited) and a short cycle ride through some very pleasant rural scenery to a dilapidated pile of rubble which had apparently been an important temple before being burned to the ground. We returned to the town hot and tired, and me a little sunburnt. Next day, we went to Sri Satchanalai, another historical park fifty kilometres from Sukhothai, and were twice dropped off at the wrong place before being finally abandoned by our ever-helpful Thai driver and left to march for several kilometres in the blazing heat to the park entrance. The ruins themselves were pretty much similar to those at Sukhothai, but less interesting, and the undoubted highlight was an overpriced elephant ride around some of the ruins - I wouldn't recommend elephants as a comfortable mode of transport, but it was certainly different.

One more night in Sukhothai and then it was off to Ayutthaya, another ancient capital of a Thai kingdom. After a slightly more comfortable bus journey, we were dropped off on the motorway five kilometres from town, despite being told that the bus would take us to the town centre. We were left with no option but to get a lift from an obnoxious tuk tuk driver who initially wanted the ridiculous sum of 100 baht before in bad grace settling for a slightly less ridiculous rate of 80 baht - more than a taxi in Bangkok for twice the distance. We got into the town and went off in search of accommodation. When we got to the place we planned to stay, the woman told us that the cheapest room she had was 250 baht; when we started to walk away (the most we'd paid anywhere else in Thailand had been 150) she suddenly discovered that she had a cheaper room, and we got one for 150 baht. I went to check my email and discovered that I'd been sent a large piece of work which I wanted to download - not a problem to use my floppy they assured me in the Internet café. I returned to our room, picked up my floppies and went back to the Internet café. By this time of course they'd changed their mind and refused to let me use my floppy. Eventually we found another place which would let me use a floppy, but the connection was painfully slow. Finally though, work duly downloaded, we went in search of food. We initially tried a place recommended in Lonely Planet for cheap food, but they had no menu for us to look at, and they were extremely evasive when we asked how much a meal cost, to the point of coming pretty close to refusing to tell us, expecting us to just go ahead and order. Eventually we discovered the reason why - it was wildly overpriced, so we left in search of cheaper food, which we found.

The next day we went to visit some of the ruins, which were not as interesting as either Sukhothai or Sri Satchanalai, and by this stage I was just so fed up with the constant hassle of Thailand and so desperate to leave that I was not in the mood to appreciate them. We did at least get away with not paying to enter one of the sites by the simple expedient of following (innocently enough) a tour group who were entering the site ahead of us. On the way back to town, I was abused by a group of smart-arse Thai kids who were obviously up for provoking a few farangs, but I did not rise to the temptation. We got back to our room and waited patiently for the time to come when we would leave the hell on earth that Thailand was rapidly becoming - the one country other than El Salvador that I will definitely not be coming back to under any circumstances. Still, in the morning we go to Bangkok, and then the next day we fly to Hong Kong.

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