Do I really have to push
Your belly up again?
And do I really have to do it
To myself again?

Nothing said, nothing heard...
This damn telephone!
You should be loving me instead,
They say...

You suck me in every time I think about it,
Everything is so sick,
It is all just wasting our lives -
But I should suffer.

So, let's go, let's go,
Let's go. Please?
Let's go, we'll make a real show
Before tomorrow says my name.

You make me think I'm sick -
Wish I could cry about it this time.
Everything you did is still here.
(I never knew a thing about you.)

Sometimes I just wish
I could drop dead in the midst
Of our eternal moment together,
So I could step into love
And leave this heavenly Hell behind.
How I wish
We dropped dead then, in the midst
Of our eternal moment together.
We'd step into love
And leave this earthly Hell behind.

Blackholed. Disfigured. Scared of what I'm becoming.
Every moment framed - nothing was taken for granted.
Damaged people are dangerous. But I'm still.
Killing myself slowly by arranging the framed.

You look pale, loverboy,
Whatever wiped the colour off your cheeks,
You look so young, loverboy,
Just like a child lying helpless in my embrace;
You look dead, loverboy,
I wouldn't dare to intrude upon your piety,
Screw me, sweet loverboy,
Cause in sleep you're so perfect it's scarying me.

You shall never desire to picture me naked,
I shall never be able to picture you dressed,
I'm your needle, sweet loverboy, your one-grain necessity,
I'm hatred, sweet loverboy, planting deceit.

White features - made up so serene...
Come into my room and make my night.

Avoiding my gaze, love?
But you washed your hair just for me.

Appeased, I watch you.
Don't go -
I wouldn't hurt you in a thousand years.
Just let me watch you for a little longer.

Let's not smear the stillness with the words,
I want you silent, solemn, naked.

In my room, petrified and naked.
You shiver as we kiss and I cry.

Celestial, divine,
Caught within my nights.

Too pure to rue, too precious to have.
Don't go,
I wouldn't hurt you in a thousand years.
Just let me watch you for a little longer.

This head is a podium of outrageous freak-shows.

On-line service, twenty-four hours,
Conditioned to rescue, just insert a two-pence.
Hologram shell with a pearl lasered in.
A 3D apparition that's been freed of magic.

I'll be the last to go.
I'll be the last resurrected.
I'm choking on your poetry,
Farting out more pathetic rhymes -
To...
Prove I still exist.
To...
Prove that nothing's changed.
To...
Prove it's all still here.
To...
Water this wank of a hope.

The baby-boy inside me -
Castrated by the first orgasm...
The baby-girl inside me -
...never existed!
A crippled asexual looming
Inside all the mirrors in the world -
And I'm afraid to move
And I'm afraid to watch.

Should somebody make my day with a kiss?
Should somebody make my night with a shotgun?
Live and let love -
Sent air-mail as I trip over
My suede-blues shoes
And die.
This never pretended to be we.
I wish I never existed as me.

Outside these walls you dwell, wrapped in bandages
Soaking with Prozac family dinners.
(Insect lust creeping down my vertebrae.)

WALLS II
Glued to my windowpane I watch you
Wallow among the rest of the puppets.
(So god-like, so cherished, so pure.)

I pick your distant signals
Through my hyperalert tentacles
And distil them into a serenade
You should be singing in my ear.

Inside these walls we'd dwell
Glued to my windowpane. In pain.
Is this the life you want?
Is this the life I want?

Glued to my windowpane I watch you
Wallow among the rest of the puppets.
(So god-like, so cherished, so pure.)

How I'd hold you safe within my walls -
Naked, warm and peaceful,
Oblivious of the girl in you
On a bed that gave you life.

Slashing a thin yellow line
Solemn in its simplicity...
Your body reeks of sex
And my room pretends to reek, too.

The tale untold garnished
In a hundred tales imagined.
Your hair reeks of sex -
Oblivion after a drive-in Saturday.

Running away from it all
Into my private stardom.
My charisma never fades in sweet
Presence of a couple of beers and a dictaphone.

She goes home every night
Into the same bed, same purple sheets.
He goes home every night
To check the messages. And the e-mail.
I wait by the phone
Glued to the computer.
Everyone's asleep.
Lines busy.

It's not even a death wish.
It's the absence of all wishes.
Sweet security of a broken heart
Sold for the impossibility of crying at all.

Bring me what is mine.
I'll give you what is yours.
And gently we will part
As if nothing happened at all.

Blood minus pain,
Pain without name.
Framed screwing fuzz -
The looking glass:
This screwing sacred as a mass...
Between your thighs beheaded cries,
Between your thighs....

Hold me,
Nightmare catalyst,
The world in asphalt
Leather allergy:
The morning after -
Taming of a screw
Hold me between your thighs.

Disinfected,
Painted blue
For you,
Your eco-sperm and glue.
You fucking prick,
You fairy wanker
'Tween your thighs.

Nightmare catalyst -
I'm so sorry,
Ego-trip impotence
In a blaze of glory
And that's my prize -
Beheaded cries,
I paid the price between your thighs.

Marked by blood, nowhere to run,
Left for dead in this life.

Neurotic, chain-smoking hangover:
Red alert.

Driven on instinct, wrong, next chapter -
Open Sesame (dead, dead, dead).

Dark secrets, fellow losers,
I sense your scent, I spy your ways.

So vulnerable, slashed open,
Entrails screaming: you're a woman.

Mocked by sex, such a beautiful soul,
Lost, dead, forgotten. Get a life!

Meaningless, loveless,
Alone, alone, alone, alone.